Wednesday, September 19, 2012

A Collision of Craziness and A Decision of Hope

We've hit a really interesting spot in life.  It seems as though every major occurrence, either planned or unplanned, all collided neatly into a 2 month span of life.  Given every opportunity to fall into discouragement, frustration, anger, and bitterness, we are choosing instead to have hope, faith, and our trust in Jesus.  It hasn't been easy.  It's been really hard.

In late April we left our church to start a new church.  The process did not look like we thought it would.   Many deviations in the plan were frustrating, disappointing, and heart-breaking.  God has given us favor, though, and has turned some of those deviations into blessings!  (He's good at that, you know.)

In the second week of May, ahem, on Mother's Day, Ben was playing in a soccer game when he sustained a very serious knee injury.  Imagine hearing that the specialist caring for your husband is concerned that an amputation may be necessary.  Okay, now stop crying.  Yeah.  He's not allowed to play sports.  Ever.  Coaching seems like a fun job, right?

Our current lease on our house was up at the end of June.  The rental housing market here is insane-o.  Expensive and not much out there.  About 10 days before we needed to be out and gone from our house, we found another and were on our way toward South Reno, our desired location (not so much exactly where we are, but it's a step).  Friends came to help us move since Ben was still not moving around.

Mid June Ben had surgery, where he again heard about how "lucky" he was to be keeping his leg.  The 4 hour surgery took 2.5, but he was in lots of pain and had to stay the night.  He was home the next day enjoying "conversations" with "people" quite regularly due to the crazy pills he was taking.

Early September Ben finally got off crutches.

The entire surgery cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $100,000.  Yes, those zeros are all really there.  Ben was two months shy of insurance at his new job.  We got the price much, much, lower than that, but regardless, we didn't, and don't, have that kind of money.  Ever maxed out a credit card before?  Well we've just joined that club.  Fun.

I believe with my whole heart that we serve a good, loving, faithful God.  He will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), he has GOOD plans for us (Jer. 29:11), he always cares about us (1 Peter 5:7), and he is ALWAYS faithful (Deut. 32:4).  I believe that he will supply all our needs (Phil. 4:19), including our finances.

So, what's my "job" in all this?  My job is to rely on Jesus.  My job is not to "make it all work".  My job is to be faithful and deliberate with the finances that we do have.  My job is to encourage my husband and forgive him (because I did, in all honesty, find that I was a little bitter that he played soccer on Mother's Day, and that's when his injury happened-you know, that "if only he had stayed with me" ridiculousness).  My job is to love the people that I see each and every day, and continue to love the people that God brings into our church.  My job is to love my children and to physically, verbally, and emotionally show them what it really means to trust Jesus despite our circumstances seeming glum.  I want them to know, REALLY know what it means to depend on God.

I am choosing hope today.  What areas of life do you need to stick a little "hope" into today?  God is faithful.  Choose to hope in Him!

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