Tuesday, April 2, 2013

The 5 Love Languages of Children: Online Book Study

Each Tuesday, starting today, I will be posting a little tid-bit from the book, The 5 Love Languages of Children.  I am doing a Monday night book study with a group of moms (at Starbucks, of course), but this such an amazing book, and there were so many moms that I spoke with that wanted to participate but couldn't because their schedules didn't allow for it or they lived too far away.  So, I got creative!  

This book study will only last about 5-6 weeks.  Today will just be our thoughts on the intro chapters, what we're hoping to learn, what our own love languages are (if you already know), etc.  Super simple.  Starting next week, we will discuss one of the love languages each week.  So, for next week, be sure to read Chapter 2: Physical Touch.

Since this is a conversation, you can feel free to talk about anything on your mind (relating to the book, of course)!  I'll post a few questions to get it started!

  • Are you familiar with the 5 love languages?  What, if anything do you know/understand about them?
  • Do you know what your own love languages are?  What about your children?  Any guesses?  
  • Do you find it difficult to express love in any of the 5 ways?  Which ones are hard for you?  
  • What are you hoping to learn from this book/each other?

Here are some of my answers/thoughts:

I am personally a gifts and words of affirmation.  Though, over the last few years, I have found that I seem to also be an acts of service.  I think, though, that a lot of that development has to do with the fact that my husband is an acts of service, and I have simply become more "fluent" at that language as I've learned to express love that way to him.

I know that my oldest has always been an acts of service.  My 3 year old seems to be a quality time.  After reading the first few chapters of this book, I am beginning to think that (at least right now), my almost 2 year old is a physical touch.  I'm hoping to better recognize my children's love languages with this book.

The thing that primarily stuck out to me during this introduction chapter was that just because we love our kids, it doesn't mean that they know we love them...we have to speak their language for them to understand our love.  We have to show them and help them feel our love, and we can do this by speaking their love language!  I guess this was so interesting to me because I, of course, love my children and would presume that they know I love them.  But if I'm not speaking their love language, they may not truly KNOW that I love them, and so I need to make sure I am showing love to them in a way that they understand it.

Leave your thoughts below!  I can't wait to hear what you're processing!


  1. What are some examples of how you know their love language? I think it's hard to tell, but I remember the book saying that when the kids are little, we should use all five languages, so I've been trying to do that.

  2. The book does say that, but I also believe (and I think it says it, too) that they may show more of one than another, even at a young age. Ellie has always been eager to help people (I do think most kids like helping, but Ellie is over-the-top in terms of doing things for people). Just today as I was sweeping my classroom she said, "mom, do you think Mrs. Terri's floor needs to be swept? I'll go ask if I can help." On the flip side, the last time I went and made her bed for her without saying anything, she came running through the house to thank me. Acts of service are super meaningful for her. We just recently noticed that Zoe craved one-on-one time. We started making sure to trade between Ellie and Zoe for errands. She seems so much happier! Aaron constantly seeks out touch (more so than either of the girls ever have). I'm sure they'll change and grow over the years, but as of now those seem to be their primary ones. After reading that chapter, though, I am now going to make more of an effort to use all 5 languages with each of them, which I'm sure will be challenging!

  3. Trulу when ѕomеone doesn't understand afterward its up to other visitors that they will help, so here it takes place.

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